Oh, Mary-Kate Olsen. She has to be the biggest piece of evidence in existent that not all identical twins are created equal. Just about everyone seems to be in agreement about the fact that Ashley must have gotten the “I do not look like I reached into my closet, in the dark, after a bender, and pulled out the first thing I touched” gene. Ashley’s had her fashion disasters as well, but those are tame next to the debacles in which Mary-Kate is all too frequently seen. This particular disaster is just … there are no words. There are none. It is shapeless, unflattering, the color is awful, the silhouette is appalling, and how is it that even though this dress … thing has an uber plunging neckline, she still looks like she has absolutely no neck whatsoever?
Uhm. Ew. While some folks are saying that Rhianna looks like a Scarlett O’Hara wannabe, I have to disagree. The ruffles and the lavishness, yeah, all right, those are pretty Gone with the Wind, but Miss Scarlett had it going on, even when she had to do herself up in the curtains. This looks more like Rhianna tried to get innovative with a bedspread or something – maybe a Martha Stewart design, or one of K-Mart’s blue light specials. She looks like a happy little ray of sunshine threw up on her. She looks like a lemon cupcake with the frosting overflowing – to the point of taking over the world. It’s possible – only just, but possible all the same – that if the shade of yellow was a little less brazen, the color at least would look lovely with her skin tones. But, seriously? Honestly? Really and truly? Was she going to the BET Awards, or a debutante ball? Was this perhaps her coming out party? At least she wasn’t wearing elbow length gloves.
I will say, however, that Miss Thing’s hair is rocking.
Head’s up, my little fashionistas: we have a first. We’ve got a dude on the celebrity fashion disaster radar. Whether you’re still in the way-back machine and calling him Puff Daddy, Puffy, P. Diddy, Diddy, or plain old Sean, he’s evolved into a serious fashion forerunner all the years – I mean, this man is stylish … until he sees a red carpet, and then it’s like waving a red flag in front of a bull or something. Instead of charging, Diddy snags the first white tuxedo jacket he can find. Does he design them strictly for that purpose? Or maybe his next reality show is going to involve him putting together a team of cocktail waiters, and he just wants to be real with it. It’s just so … seventies. If he’d even just worn a black shirt with a black tie instead, it really could have worked, but this is just … cheesy.
Sigourney Weaver … she … well, geez. Just look at that. Do I really need to say anything? Of course I don’t … but when has that ever stopped me? After all, Miss Fashion (is someday going to be) famous for saying … typing … out loud what everyone else is secretly thinking. Miss Fashion is (going to be!) a voice for the people! Miss Fashion – is talking in the third-person again and got sidetracked, anyway.
I thought I’d be lamenting over all the debacles that showed up at the Daytime Emmy’s for weeks, but then came the premiere of Wall-E, and this happened. This … this heinous, hideous, eye-bleedingly bright concoction. Sigourney is usually so classic; her outfits usually match her cool, sophisticated good looks. There is usually the most subtle trace of hauteur in the way she looks, acts, speaks, and dresses – and then, there’s this. I can only assume that, since Wall-E is something of a kid’s movie, and light-spirited and fun anyway, she decided to try to appeal to them? But I think this will only appeal to children who are color blind. Royal blue and orange? At least the shirt makes her look thin … I guess…
Oh man. First of all, Miss Fashion here has to make something clear: I love Tyra Banks. I think she is an absolute goddess, not to mention an extremely strong woman – even though she does have a tendency to talk about herself a little too much. You know, like if you told her that once, when you were a kid, the Loch Ness Monster tried to eat you, she would say something like, “Oh wow! That reminds me of the time Armani took me to see The Cat in the Hat,” or something totally unrelated like that. But that’s all right, I forgive her ego. I cannot, however, forgive her fashion faux pas. See that purple dress? She used that as an example of what not to do on the red carpet, when counseling one cycle of new models on ANTM. She knows to watch out for bad looks at awards shows. And yet she shows up at the Daytime Emmy’s in this gold … thing, all trussed up and squeezed in, and bulging in all the wrong places. Ty-Ty, there are reruns of Top Model on MTV and VH1 all the time – jot down a few notes and take your own advice! Quit lookin’ the fool on the red carpet!
