Celebrity Fashion Disasters

I can’t … I just … I am so sick of her.  I am sick — and tired.

I don’t even know what to say anymore.  I really don’t.  I don’t even know if there’s anything worth saying.  I mean, okay.  She’s getting photographed everywhere with her frigging pants legs cuffed into frigging capris, and then there’s this steaming hot mess.

This is Kat(i)e Married-to-a-Crazy-Midget Holmes at the Tropic Thunder premiere.  You should she the rest of the pictures: Kate and Tom — how suburban WASP, oh my! — grinning maniacal, shark like grins at the photographer, as if they are preparing to devour him.  Like either of them have any right to be grinning.  Like they have something to be proud of.

I don’t know what’s with the apparent grip tape — or is that pleather?  or vinyl?  jeezum crow! — binding her up.  I don’t get the bodice at all.  But more than anything I don’t get that unflattering, poofy helmet of a hairstyle.  Seriously, it’s like she’s preparing herself to be the suburban, Scientologist housewife.  Soon, those rolled up jeans will turn into mom jeans, complete with high water hems.  She’ll be telling the soccer coach not to put any antiseptic spray onto Suri’s scraped knee, because ZOMG IT’S OF THE DEVIL!

Sigourney Weaver … she … well, geez. Just look at that. Do I really need to say anything? Of course I don’t … but when has that ever stopped me? After all, Miss Fashion (is someday going to be) famous for saying … typing … out loud what everyone else is secretly thinking. Miss Fashion is (going to be!) a voice for the people! Miss Fashion – is talking in the third-person again and got sidetracked, anyway.

I thought I’d be lamenting over all the debacles that showed up at the Daytime Emmy’s for weeks, but then came the premiere of Wall-E, and this happened. This … this heinous, hideous, eye-bleedingly bright concoction. Sigourney is usually so classic; her outfits usually match her cool, sophisticated good looks. There is usually the most subtle trace of hauteur in the way she looks, acts, speaks, and dresses – and then, there’s this. I can only assume that, since Wall-E is something of a kid’s movie, and light-spirited and fun anyway, she decided to try to appeal to them? But I think this will only appeal to children who are color blind. Royal blue and orange? At least the shirt makes her look thin … I guess…